I was born white. Many have said that makes me responsible for all the sins of every white person who ever lived. I was born female, and many have said that makes me inferior, and I could never expect to be able to support myself or do anything a man could do. I was told the best thing I could do for my survival when I grew up was to marry a rich man, but if no rich man wanted to marry me, then my options were limited to becoming a teacher, a nurse, a secretary, or a nun. To many religious people, every woman is also a potentially evil seductress, being in association with Eve who seduced Adam to bite into the forbidden apple, which resulted in the fall from God’s grace for all of mankind. Whenever I have questioned these beliefs, even as recently as a few weeks ago, there is always someone who says, “Don’t take it personally! It’s not about you!”
To that response, I have to ask, “Well, if it’s not about me then who is it about?”
Many of these beliefs still prevail in our society, some more than others. I have found people’s sense of entitlement to tell me who and what I am and what I am worth or not worth fascinating, especially when based on a history I never lived, the color of my skin, or my gender. None of their assessments of me have been based on my personality, talents, values, or anything that makes me who I am as a unique human being.
The only way I could be truly responsible for all the sins committed by every white person before I was born would be if I had been at least one of those people in previous lives. I have actually considered this because I do think reincarnation is a real possibility, having had several dreams of living before and because it seems to me that only one lifetime does not teach us enough to spiritually advance in any significant amount. So, if there is an afterlife, it makes sense that we would have to try and try and try perhaps a million times over before we are able to advance to an existence in nirvana or some sort of better place.
If I do carry the weight of all the sins committed by every white person for thousands of years, there is no possible way I could pay for them with the small amount of money I have at my disposal. All I could do is repent of them, make sure I never repeat these sins, try to redeem myself in some way within this lifetime, and possibly several more lifetimes in the future, and seek forgiveness from all those whom I’ve harmed.
The ultimate existential question is why are we here? Why do we exist on this planet? Are we here to pay for all of humanity’s sins? Are we here to recover from the trauma of previous lives or the trauma we inherited from our ancestors in our DNA? Are we here to pay off karmic debt?
While pondering these questions, I thought about my own moral outrage in regard to American history. I am passionately disappointed in our so-called “founding fathers” who had the opportunity to make things right when they formed a new government for this new land. They blew it big time and intentionally. But then, how could slaveholders have been earnest about the equality of human beings? And how could men, especially then, have even considered that women were their equals?
I wonder whether my passion for this issue stems from a previous life I might have had. If I had been among the founding fathers, perhaps I am angry with myself and desperately wanting to complete the mission I had originally wanted to fulfill back in 1776. Or, perhaps I was among the victims who had been deprived of their human rights, or at least a sympathizer with the victims.
Perhaps I have been born and reborn several times over since 1776 to fulfill the mission that means so much to me still—to create a brand-new world that would value everyone equally regardless of race or gender This might sound ludicrous to you, but, to me, it makes more sense than being held responsible for someone else’s sins.
We can be inspired to take on life missions from many sources. The experience of suffering from trauma can lead us to seek recovery for ourselves and others or to prevent additional trauma from occurring. Some of us have suffered indirectly through vicarious trauma. Maybe we are not here to pay for sins or karmic debts. Maybe we are here to answer the call to make things right simply because we love ourselves and our fellow human beings. Love is the strongest passion after all.
When I think of all the suffering throughout the history of humankind, I just want to cry. While I cannot pay for all the sins of the world, I can at least make some contribution to the healing of my own and others’ suffering every day within this lifetime. I have little financial means to make things right, but I have an abundance of love to give, and while it will not likely lead to a better government, it can help to improve the quality of some of our lives. Gandhi’s advice is the best to follow: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” We may not ever live to see a kinder world on this planet, but we might at least be able to cope with this world better and experience spiritual growth that will eventually lead us to a new and kinder existence somewhere in the vast universe. Whatever we do, let’s not give up on us. As long as there is love anywhere, there is hope.
Photo Credit: Mike Lewinski
Comments